Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Nice titties!

Well, my nearly four year old daughter, who on this blog is called Sausage, has a bit of a speech impediment, she can't pronounce 'f' or 'k' and a few other letters very well. And now she's doing speech therapy, and is slowly getting better.

So, yesterday I was in the garden and my seventy year old neighbour who has these massive bazzooms crammed into a tight white sweater, is chatting to Sausage and Sausage says to her:

"I like your titties. You have nice titties!"

And the woman looks shocked and says, "What?"

"You know, she mixes up her letters," I said. "I think, er, that Sausage is referring to your er, kitties, that are staring out of the window. What are their names?"

Phew. Close one.

Of course, I know that Sausage did say 'titties', because it is always at the worst moment when they pronounce 'rude' words with crystal clarity. Because I am of that school of thought where I let it all hang out and often walk around the house nude and Sausage will tweak my nipple occasionally as if it is something fascinating and say 'you have big titties' (even though they are only average, really). After the hundredth time or so I said, 'Can you stop tweaking my titties?' but that's as repressive as it gets in our house. No 'your private parts are private' or as one crunchy granola nut I know tells her kids: don't let anyone look at your 'special vulva'. Look, I'm all for keeping your private bits hidden at school and in public, but I don't think genitals or sexual parts should be made taboo or something to be ashamed off, that's just daft.

But now I'm wondering if Sausage is going to think it's okay to tweak the neighbor's tits. Which might not go down very well, all things considered.

Later I told Sausage that she shouldn't talk about other people's titties to their face. But I don't really think that the penny dropped. Hmm, a difficult one. How to teach kids that we live in a sexually repressed society that thinks that sex is dirty while encouraging them to feel sexually empowered while shielding them from sexual predators. A bit of a tough one, this. Nevertheless, the incident made me feel sad for the state of society.

What do you think you should teach kids about their bodies and nudity?

22 comments:

kcm said...

Thank heaven someone brings their kids up sensibly. There's nothing wrong with nudity and the sooner we all get comfortable with bodies (ours and everyone else's) the sooner we'll all be better balanced, less embarrassed and have better health -- mental and physical. Yes you have to teach the kids what it is OK to say/do in public, just as you'd teach then that people don't like four letter words beginning in F and C in polite society. While I would say that nudity is OK everywhere touching it or commenting on it in public generally isn't, just as you don't walk up to clothed people and say "why have you got such such a big butt?".
More of my thoughts on my weblog.

My Favourite Life said...

My wife and I have no issue whatsoever with the nude body. We do have a ten year old, and in the evening we wear clothes as often as not. We used to frequent a particular nude resort in Palm Springs. The sun feels very nice without clothing blocking.

Our son is not ashamed of his body or any other body, but he also understands that most people do not share the view that a naturally nude body is natural. Enter religion and morality here. Anyway, he knows the difference between a public change room and home or a naturalist resort, and he act accordingly.

It really is too bad people are so repressed when it comes to nudity, but that's just that way things are—and were that the only thing people were repressed about, it wouldn't be so bad...but, of course, it is only the tip of the repressive iceberg.

Molly said...

When I "were a lass" my parents did not hide their bodies or make us cover up, so I grew up thinking that was normal (within one's immediate family of course). But when I said something as a teenager to my friends they were horrified that I saw my parents naked and they saw me naked, so then I went through this whole shame thing. Now I am older I am more comfortable with it and my son Ned thinks "boobies" are hilarious and often tries to poke mine, but he does every now and then cover up his willy and recently (check out my post) referred to my vagina as a monster! But I won't force him to cover up and I won't cover up just yet, not until he gets to the point where he is embarrassed by it. I think the more you try and repress this subject with kids, the harder it will be to talk to them about such issues when you really need to.

jenny said...

Hubby and I sleep in the nude and walk around in the mornings a bit before we actually get dressed. The girlies think nothing of it and will sometimes "tweak" my nipples too. One day, my oldest asked me why I had a hairy coochie and I explained the whole puberty thing (she's 5) and then she came back to ask me about Daddy's "boy coochie".

We are of the same mind as you, wanting to raise our girls to be proud of their bodies and at the same time to be mindful of other people who are "prudish" and get offensive at the slightest bit of skin. We have a few nudie mags and we dont hide them and if the girls have questions, we'll answer 'em as truthfull as we can.

Janet a.k.a. "Wonder Mom" said...

My daughter loves to tweak my titties!!!!

We giggle of course, because I want her to feel comfortable with her body...but jeez leweeze...why me?

She loves to be curious and I laugh. She's always staring and asking about my body. My mom was always straight forward with me and I expect to be that way with Stinkfoot too.

missy said...

I don't have a child but a friend said that her daughter likes to hold her boobies. So, I guess it's not uncommon.

I don't really know when it's the right age to talk to kids about their bodies :-(

Drunk Mummy said...

My son used to call my boobs 'missiles' - it's not that they are particularly big, I think it was just that he had been watching too much Thunderbirds.

George said...

Agree 100% ... don't flaunt it but treat it as if it a natural, normal part of your life.
A quick story ... long time ago I had a married couple of friends. They were all about teaching their young daughter (maybe 3 or 4 at the time) all the correct terms and also were not ashamed to let her see them walking about. I had spent the weekend at their home with my g/f who was in the shower Sunday morning when the little girl walked into the bathroom, opened the shower curtain just as my g/f was lathering up her genitals when the little girl asked ... are you washing your volvo?

Manuel said...

"What do you think you should teach kids about their bodies and nudity?"

No idea but I would like to see a picture of your neighbour....

rilly super said...

All I can say is that it seems emma and her readers all have one thing in common here: they all live somewhere with a warmer climate then where I am.

EmmaK said...

kcm....I agree, you have to teach kids not to make personal comments on what people look like.

my favourite life....yes, when my kids are ten or so they will probably be more aware of where it is okay to be nude, and where it is not. At the moment the boundaries are still a little unclear.

molly.....I don't even understand those women who change their tampons in private. I mean it is a normal function and if your kid happens to see it then just explain it to him, i reckon. Although maybe it would freak your son out since he already thinks your vagina is a monster ;)

jenny...yeah that is one of the problems of being too liberal, having porno movie sleeves lying around and the kids finding them and asking lots of awkward questions. I need to hide them better I guess.

janet....stinkfoot is lucky to have a mommy like you!

missy...I reckon just lead by example, if you are not prudish about your own body then they won't be either.

drunk mummy...re the missiles comment...I'd take it as a compliment.

george....Very funny that she thought your girlfriend was washing her car!!

manuel ....get a grip lad. Didn't you hear me say the woman is SEVENTY. A great pair she has on her though.

rilly super....Yeah, I do live somehwere that is currently baking hot, but quite honestly I sometimes miss the gentle drizzle of the English summer....ah, the grass is always greener. By the way, I'm currently working on that Pilates video and have strained my groin methinks.

Tom Paine said...

I am all for sexual freedom, but would not think much of Sausage tweaking C.'s tits, or touching my nuts.

One thing the hippies I hung out with as a kid never understood is that having personal boundaries is NOT the same thing as being repressed. If I don't want to fuck you, it's not because I'm a product of the bourgeois patriarchy, but maybe because I'm not attracted. And if I don't give you my brand new sunglasses to wear just because you like them doesn't mean I'm repressed.

nef said...

so wait...your saying it's NOT okay to tweak your neighbors nipples? That explains some of the looks I get.

Al Sensu said...

What if I told you that you have a nice kitty?

A Liquid Blue said...

I had the EXACT same experience with a 4-year-old I was working with in PA. He went around saying he loved titties but couldn't show them to his therapist because she was allergic to them!

beta mum said...

I think you can teach kids it's not ok to make personal remarks in front of people (eg Why is that lady so fat?) without being repressive.
They need to know what's rude and what could upset other people.
But that's not the same as walking around naked and talking about bodies openly, which I think is healthy.

See
http://www.cathykeir.co.uk/blog/front-bottoms-and-wee-wees/

tkkerouac said...

El sensu, funny, what if I told you , you had a nice kitty, hehe

EmmaK said...

tom paine...hey I know Sausage shouldn't tweak anyone's (apart from my) titties, but you try explaining that to a four year old!

nef...you will get a better reaction if you say "can I tweak your nipples in exchange for mowing your lawn?"

al sensu...I would say my kitty is a moody little thing, got to approach her the right way or she might show you her teeth!

a liquid blue...you sure know some wierd kids.

beta mum...I used to think the English were sexually repressed but they are nothing compared to the Yanks who go apoplectic if a two year old is seen at a pool without a bikini on!!

tkkerouac....yeah he is a bit of a laugh isn't he?

Midnight said...

I think that's a tricky one Em, well it is from my point of view, being a singlie anyway.

One of my god daughters once grabbed my crotch and I was totally taken aback. She grinned (she obviously knew it was wrong), looked at me and for once I was lost for words.

I guess kids are just curious. They are innocent and should get the right guidance from their parents, but in a manner that doesn't freak them out?

Pink Drama said...

my philosophy about children and nudity is the same as i think about people - unless someone asks you to touch them, keep all hands and other objects to yourself. dr. phil once did an episode on a family's nudists colony. they said it actually made life easier cause people got de-sensitized to it after a while. (this is outside the home, like in public. my family is much the same way, as are some of my friends. in fact, i've been chased to my car by my best friend who kept saying my booty was cute and slapable.)

and for the sake of people's feelings, i would try and teach my children to keep their opinions to themselves. it saves people from being offended. my god-daughter told me once i had big boobs, but it was funny, so it was okay. my niece told my mom she was ugly and fat. that hurt my mom. not b/c she cared about her appearance, but that hg could be so mean.

Tom Paine said...

"Hey I know Sausage shouldn't tweak anyone's (apart from my) titties, but you try explaining that to a four year old!"

If I can tweak you tits, then we'll consider it a wash....

Dirty Filthy Princess said...

this is hilarious. I think you are going about it right. She can, eventually, figure out that what is OK at home is not OK with the neighbors. Nice save, by the way!